


wrong number

by vinyls (orphan_account)



Category: Bandom, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Bad Pick-Up Lines, Chatlogs, M/M, Texting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-14
Updated: 2017-04-16
Packaged: 2018-08-14 22:57:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 11,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8032291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/vinyls
Summary: Josh texts the wrong number and he's not sure if it's the best or worst mistake he's ever made.





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Embarrassing pickup lines and awkward conversations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit 7/28/17: This work will soon be orphaned after all the editing I do is complete. I'm truly sorry to anyone who wants more out of the story, but it's just not what I was aiming for and lacks originality overall! My humor has definitely changed since last year as well. Very little effort was put into the earlier chapters of this work, and I'm not proud of that.  
> Thank you for reading! I may check the comments to answer them, so if you have a question or comment, please leave one. :-)
> 
> Chapter Note: This one is from Tyler's perspective.

Today at 3:41 PM

**Unread Messages (1)**

 

 

_Unknown Number:_

is ur name wifi? cause im feeling a connection ;)

 

_Me:_

Who is this?

_Unknown Number:_

you know who it is. the man of ur dreams

_Me:_

Uh.

_Unknown Number:_

haha, it's okay. love is confusing

_Me:_

I'm serious, I have no idea who i'm talking to

_Unknown Number:_

what

_Me:_

Yeah. You're not a contact

_Unknown Number:_

um

okay then

i must've gotten the wrong number

unless i'm being pranked

_Me:_

Yes, you're being pranked. Look in the corner, you're on prank camera!

 _Unknown Number:  
_ WHAT

_Me:_

Just kidding.

You probably just entered the wrong number

Or maybe it was a fake

_Unknown Number:_

well that's depressing

im assuming its the former

_Me:_

I hope it was.

_Unknown Number:_

well sorry for bothering you

 

_Me:_

Nah, it's fine.

I can get lonely at times

_Unknown Number:_

haha, who doesn't?

so how are u doing?

_Me:_

I could be better, but I'm fine.

You?

_Unknown Number:_

fantastic

just a little embarrassed

_Me:_

Don't worry about it

I've done worse

_Unknown Number:_

wanna elaborate

_Me:_

No.

_Unknown Number:_

ok then

_Me:_

Hey, not to sound creepy or anything, but how old are you?

Just wondering.

_Unknown Number:_

69 hahaha!

_Me:_

Very funny.

At least I know you're not old.

_Unknown Number:_

wym?

_Me:_

You just used a joke that only an immature person would use

_Unknown Number:_

you got me there

im 18 years YOUNG ;))))

_Me:_

That sounds like something a middle schooler would put in their Instagram biography.

But I won't judge.

_Unknown Number:_

ur right tbh

hbu

_Me:_

I'm 18 too.

Senior in high school?

_Unknown Number:_

yessir

wow we have a lot in common

_Me:_

I mean, generally, yeah

I'm not sure about our senses of humor though ;-)

Just kidding. Mine is probably worse.

_Unknown Number:_

we'll have to see

we can have a humor slam

_Me:_

Sure. Let's do it now and the winner gets a lifetime supply of Red Bull.

_Unknown Number:_

WAIT FR

_Me:_

I wish.

A lifetime supply of Red Bull? In this economy?

_Unknown Number:_

fuck

well i have to go anyway

i love having band practice in the heat!!!!!!  xoxoxoxo

_Me:_

Ugh. I play basketball and it's living hell in the summer

Good luck

_Unknown Number:_

wanna talk later?

_Me:_

Sure!

What's your name?

**Read 3:58 PM**

 

_Me:_

Hello?

Where are you

Please respond

I don't know your name

_Unknown Number:_

daddy

Me:

What the fuck


	2. Chapter 2

Today at 5:04 PM

_Unknown Number has been renamed "Mysterious Fucker"._

_"Mysterious Fucker"'s profile picture has been changed._

 

Today at 8:42 PM

**Unread Messages (1)**

 

_Mysterious Fucker:_

what the fuck is my contact name

_Me:_

You didn't give me a name, so I had to go with the first thing I thought of.

It took me a whole six minutes to think of it, so be grateful

_Mysterious Fucker:_

why is my profile picture that nick young meme

_Me:_

Because I have no idea who you are, silly.

_Mysterious Fucker:_

oh right

my name is josh

 

_Contact "Mysterious Fucker" has been renamed as "Josh"._

_Me:_

I'm Tyler. Nice to meet you! 

_Josh:_

aww you use emojis unironically

that's adorable haha

nice to meet you too

_Me:_

Not normally, but I felt it was appropriate

I have a friend named Josh and he reminds me of you

I mean I haven't talked to him in forever because I moved away but I think we're still friends.

_Josh:_

i had a friend named tyler who moved away too

that's funny

i'm probably not the same josh though

_Me:_

Who knows?

_Josh:_

idk

i have red hair

like firetruck red

_Me:_

That seems pretty "Josh"

He's truly a ripped skater punk at heart

_Josh:_

doesn't sound like me

_Me:_

Just... JOSHING

_Josh:_

aw come on

i get slaughtered whenever someone uses that

_Me:_

Sorry! :P

My Josh is probably cooler than you

_Josh:_

ur probably right 

i'm like the epitome of lame lol

_Me:_

No, I think you're nice from what I can tell!

Nobody will replace mine though

_Josh:_

some friends are irreplaceable 

unfortunately my tyler seems like he replaced me ;(

_Me:_

Aw, I'm sorry.

Things happen, so it could be life getting him in the way.

You should talk to him! I want to talk to my Josh but I think we've drifted too far apart.

_Josh:_

yeah, me too :0

good idea but i think i'm too awkward

_Me:_

Fake it till you make it.

That's my motto... for basically everything

_Josh:_

most of my confidence is fake dude

_Me:_

Same.

Who knew an insecure coward hides underneath a basketball player?

_Josh:_

hey, it's okay

you're not a coward

you're brave for faking everything

i'm terrified of showing false behavior because it's not who i am

_Me:_

You're right.

I've been doing this for so long I've gotten used to it, but I suppose I'll try.

_Josh:_

good idea

_Me:_

It's been nice talking to you, but it's getting late, so good night!

I still have to finish some homework and practice basketball.

_Josh:_

this late?

_Me:_

Practicing is the only way to get better.

_Josh:_

very true.

i have to go finish my homework too because i always procrastinate! woohoo!

_Me:_

Try not to hold it off

I do it during class

_Josh:_

i won't, promise :)

good night tyler

_Me:_

Good night, Josh 

_**Read 9:14 PM** _

 


	3. get your facts straight *gay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tyler is added into a chat with josh's friends & other stuff happens

today @ 7:16 am

josh: aye 

tyler: aye aye captain 

tyler: whats up why are you texting me 

tyler: in the wee hours of the morning 

josh: tyler its 7 in the morning 

josh: school starts in an hour 

tyler: oh right lol 

tyler: my bad 

josh: ur funny 

josh: do u know who would like you 

tyler: no 

josh: oh right 

josh: i think pete would like you 

tyler: who's this 'pete' 

josh: the greatest guy u will ever meet in ur life 

josh: wait maybe not the greatest 

josh: hes kind of a butt 

tyler: butts are nice 

josh: yeah 

josh: back to pete like 

josh: hes great 

josh: i love him 

josh: as a friend of course 

josh: we hang out a lot 

tyler: i'm sure he's fantastic 

josh: yeah i think my fantasticness rubbed off on him 

josh: like that spaghetti sauce rubbed onto his clothes 

josh: which is why im 100$ in debt 

josh: damn he had to wear that expensive shirt that day 

tyler: oh um 

tyler: that's unfortunate 

tyler: and i think you mean $100 

josh: as i said dont correct my grammar buddy 

josh: let me do my own thing 

josh: bathe in my own glory 

josh: or something like that 

josh: anyway 

josh: u should talk to pete 

josh: hey do u have a kik 

tyler: yeah, it's @messageman 

josh: ok mine is @spookyjim im gonna add u to a chat 

josh: and message man is a nice name 

josh: stop with these nice names 

josh: like pete isnt a nice name 

josh: or brendon or patrick 

josh: isnt patrick a saint 

tyler: i believe so 

josh: cool well if thats ok i will proceed to add u into a chat 

josh: with pete and some other dudes

tyler: yes yes go ahead 

josh: ok rad 

-

_dj spooky jim_ added _tyjo, rest in pete, patricia,_ and _beebo_ into the conversation. 

_dj spooky jim_ renamed the conversation _no p0rn pls._

dj spooky jim: hey guys 

rest in pete: whats with the chat name 

dj spooky jim: u kno what brendon does 

beebo: lololol 

rest in pete: oh 

rest in pete: i see 

dj spooky jim: ok roll call 

beebo: shabooya sha sha shabooya roll call 

rest in pete: didnt that issa kid write that 

beebo: yes its LIT FAM XDXDXD 

_dj spooky jim_ removed _beebo_ from the conversation. 

_rest in pete_ added _beebo_ to the conversation. 

dj spooky jim: heck 

beebo: haha jokes on you succ it 

dj spooky jim: no 

dj spooky jim: anyway 

dj spooky jim: tyler 

tyjo: reporting for duty 

rest in pete: lol doodie 

dj spooky jim: shut up 

dj spooky jim: brendon 

beebo: im here 

beebo: and who is tyjo 

tyjo: the greatest man alive 

rest in pete: sorry sweaty......... i think thats me :)))) 

tyjo: ok then 

dj spooky jim: this is tyler 

dj spooky jim: my newfound friend 

dj spooky jim: that i met through text 

rest in pete: wtf how 

dj spooky jim: remember how u dared me to text that debby bitch 

dj spooky jim: ye i texted him instead 

rest in pete: ohhhhh cool 

rest in pete: yall should fuck lol 

tyjo: .......................................................... 

dj spooky jim: .................................................... 

rest in pete: i guess not 

beebo: lol get rekt 

beebo: its josh the savage 

beebo: raise the alarms 

beebo: all hail 

dj spooky jim: stop it brendon 

dj spooky jim: ur literally right next to me 

dj spooky jim: at the bus stop 

dj spooky jim: dont look at me like that 

dj spooky jim: no dont fucking shove me off the bench 

dj spooky jim: i can throw ur iphone 7 plus into the road 

dj spooky jim: yeah see that car 

dj spooky jim: its gonna RUN IT THE FUCK OVER 

dj spooky jim: wait no sorry 

dj spooky jim: i didnt mean it 

dj spooky jim: please dont push me 

dj spooky jim: nJO STSHTJKLM 

beebo: hahahahahhahahhaa 

dj spooky jim: i hate u sometimes brendon 

tyjo: this is why i walk to school most of the time 

tyjo: losers!! 

dj spooky jim: ;( 

rest in pete: im glad i have a car 

dj spooky jim: shut ur rich ass 

dj spooky jim: go dent ur expensive ass orange maserati 

rest in pete: excuse me but its atomic tangerine not orange  >:( 

rest in pete: get ur facts straight 

beebo: *gay 

tyjo: i really wonder why i'm in this chat 

dj spooky jim: bc i had to introduce you to my amazing friends 

dj spooky jim: who r assholes lol 

patricia: Who do you think you're calling an asshole?

dj spooky jim: ooh patricks on 

dj spooky jim: partys getting started 

dj spooky jim: hey patrick 

patricia: This isn't a party. 

patricia: More like a death sentence, considering that Brendon and Pete are here. 

patricia: What's going on? 

tyjo: who is patrick 

patricia: Hello, I'm Patrick. 

patricia: And who would you be? 

tyjo: i'm tyler 

patricia: Hi, Tyler. 

patricia: I'm glad to see someone who at least uses proper grammar here. 

tyjo: eh kinda. 

dj spooky jim: stop it u grammar nazis 

dj spooky jim: if u didnt know yeah this is patrick 

patricia: I literally just introduced myself ten seconds ago. 

dj spooky jim: aw stop it you 

dj spooky jim: patrick is amazing 

dj spooky jim: he has a soul voice 

beebo: shall i demonstrate 

rest in pete: please do 

dj spooky jim: pete has spoken 

dj spooky jim: we all know why he hasnt ;) 

patricia: What? 

rest in pete: ummmmmmmmmm 

rest in pete: ignore josh 

rest in pete: pls 

patricia: That's what I normally do. 

beebo: should i demonstrate patricks incredible skills 

patricia: Please don't. 

tyjo: i'd love to see these incredible skills 

tyjo: skillz 

beebo: ok 

beebo: when he sings hes all like 

beebo: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 

beebo: ya know 

tyjo: sure 

patricia: Oh, Lord. 

dj spooky jim: admit it patrick ur amazing 

dj spooky jim: right pete ;) 

rest in pete: uh 

rest in pete: yes 

patricia: Thank you, Josh, Pete. 

dj spooky jim: anyway 

dj spooky jim: how r yall doing 

patricia: Great. 

patricia: I almost dropped my phone in my cereal from your stupidity, but great. 

beebo: wow i feel complimented 

beebo: thanks patrick 

tyjo: i'm cool 

tyjo: cool as a cucumber 

rest in pete: im fine thnks fr askng 

dj spooky jim: they ask you how you are and you have to say ur fine when ur not really fine but you just cant get into it because they would never understand 

tyjo: nice one 

patricia: Silly Josh. 

beebo: hes not silly 

beebo: hes STUPID 

dj spooky jim: are you sure about that 

dj spooky jim: mr "i have a d in almost every subject" 

beebo: STJOP 

rest in pete: i'm michael jordan. stop it. get some help. 

tyjo: please do :)) 

patricia: Hey, Josh, how do you even know this Tyler? 

dj spooky jim: tyler explain 

dj spooky jim: its ur turn 

dj spooky jim: its ur time to shine 

dj spooky jim: get ur show on 

beebo: GET PAID AND ALL THAT GLITTERS IS GOLD ONLY SHOOTING STARS BREAK THE MOLD 

rest in pete: stop referencing shrek brendon 

beebo: you started belting out a medley of all the songs in the movies after school yesterday 

beebo: dont even start 

patricia: Pete, that was stupid. 

tyjo: ..........continuing my story 

tyjo: that i never even started 

tyjo: josh and i met through text 

tyjo: when he accidentally texted me a shitty pickup line. 

tyjo: we talked for a bit 

tyjo: and here we are now i guess 

tyjo: he had the brilliant idea of having us talk 

dj spooky jim: emphasis on brilliant 

patricia: That wasn't a brilliant idea. This poor guy we don't even know is stuck with us. 

dj spooky jim: stop killing the mood 

dj spooky jim: like gee always does 

dj spooky jim: the emo little bitch 

beebo: gees not a bitch 

dj spooky jim: hes a complete bitch 

beebo: exactly 

rest in pete: hes so moody 

patricia: He threw his milk at me because I told him that his shirt was ugly. 

patricia: I was just giving feedback. 

tyjo: wow 

beebo: hey tyler what does ur name even meme 

patricia: *Mean 

beebo: bitch i know wat i said 

tyjo: same goes for you brendon 

tyjo: it's short for tyler joseph 

tyjo: cause thats my name 

beebo: wait tyler joseph 

tyjo: yeah why 

beebo: ohhhhhh 

beebo: i think i know you 

rest in pete: isnt there a tyler joseph in my pe 

patricia: Yes. 

patricia: He hit me in the face with a basketball. 

tyjo: holy shit that was you?? 

tyjo: patrick stumph? 

patricia: That's me. 

tyjo: oh i'm really sorry 

patricia: You'd better be. That hurt. 

beebo: yeah i know tyler ;)))) 

beebo: right josh? 

dj spooky jim: wait tyler 

dj spooky jim: do i know a tyler?? 

dj spooky jim: thats a common name 

tyjo: josh what's your last name 

dj spooky jim: dun why 

tyjo: dude i know a josh dun 

tyjo: i've known you since forever 

tyjo: what school do you go to? 

dj spooky jim: new albany high 

tyjo: yeah me too 

tyjo: i think you're in my english 

beebo: things are getting heated 

dj spooky jim: tyler tyler tyler 

dj spooky jim: oh 

dj spooky jim: that tyler 

rest in pete: you know exactly who this tyler is ;) 

dj spooky jim: oh 

dj spooky jim: yeah i do 

dj spooky jim: hold on 

_dj spooky jim has left the chat._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok i hope you liked that! im changing the story up a little


	4. salty ass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> peterick to the rescue

today @ 2:34 pm

_dj spooky jim_ added _rest in pete_ and _patricia_ into the conversation. 

_dj spooky jim_ renamed the converesation _plshelpme_

dj spooky jim: peterick please help 

dj spooky jim: its urgent!!!!! 

rest in pete: lol what did u do this time 

patricia: Can't this wait? School's almost over. 

patricia: And what's 'Peterick?'

dj spooky jim: no im in english 

dj spooky jim: peterick is u and pete

dj spooky jim: yeah so im in english like i said 

rest in pete: and???????????????????????????????????? 

dj spooky jim: u know that guy i normally talk about 

rest in pete: what guy?????????????????????????????????? 

dj spooky jim: that brunet dude 

rest in pete: who??????????????????????????? 

patricia: Do you really take the time to type out those question marks? 

rest in pete: yes lol 

dj spooky jim: im talking about tyler u fuckmuppets 

rest in pete: did u just call me a fuckmuppet u fuckmuppet 

dj spooky jim: fuck yeah i did 

patricia: I don't want to know what a fuckmuppet is, nor do I want to know. 

patricia: Anyway, what's the big deal about Tyler? 

rest in pete: he has a big fat crush on tyler thats why ;) 

patricia: It's not that much of a deal. 

patricia: You guys were friends before. Best friends, in fact. 

patricia: Forming a relationship with him again won't be that hard. 

dj spooky jim: sorry patrick but have u seen how awkward i am 

rest in pete: yeah 

rest in pete: u embarrass urself all the time 

rest in pete: especially that time in front of tyler at the ice cream parlor 

dj spooky jim: jeez i drop an ice cream cone down my crush's shirt and you never let me forget about it 

patricia: Oh, God. How is that even possible? 

dj spooky jim: pete asked me to get him some ice cream 

dj spooky jim: and i was on my skateboard 

dj spooky jim: tyler happened to be there 

dj spooky jim: enough said 

patricia: You're so dumb. 

rest in pete: hell ye boi 

patricia: Anyway, what's the problem?

dj spooky jim: hes staring at me 

dj spooky jim: this is getting embarrassing 

dj spooky jim: pls stop 

dj spooky jim: oh lord 

patricia: If you want him to stop, then tell him to stop. 

patricia: As easy as that. 

dj spooky jim: its not that easy

rest in pete: no dont do that 

rest in pete: NO PATRIC K 

rest in pete: DONT FUCKING HIT ME 

rest in pete: OW 

patricia: If you don't want me to hit you, don't tell me what not to do. 

rest in pete: BITCH SEE THIS 

rest in pete: _one image attached!_

rest in pete: SEE THIS 

rest in pete: THATS THE DEAD SEA 

rest in pete: THIS IS THE SALTIEST PLACE ON EARTH 

rest in pete: NEXT TO YOUR BITCH ASS 

dj spooky jim: awwww look ur bickering like an old couple :') 

patricia: Stop. 

rest in pete: STOP 

dj spooky jim: ok i will

dj spooky jim: but i cant tell tyler to stop 

dj spooky jim: thats rude 

rest in pete: why u gotta be so ruuuude 

dj spooky jim: its not nice!!! 

dj spooky jim: like this is just making me uncomfortable 

dj spooky jim: yall r my gay buddies yknow 

dj spooky jim: so pls help a guy out will ya 

rest in pete: gay buddies 

rest in pete: lets get a tshirt with that on it 

rest in pete: its going to have flames and skulls all over the front 

rest in pete: and on the back its going to have sparkles and butterflies 

rest in pete: that says gay buddies in hot pink cursive 

rest in pete: we can all twin 

rest in pete: itll be cool 

patricia: Sure. I'll start investing in that immediately. 

patricia: But Josh, if you really liked Tyler I would make a move or something. 

patricia: Not something stupid like Brendon normally does. 

patricia: Please. 

dj spooky jim: but hes like super popular and amazing 

rest in pete: *out of ur leeg 

patricia: *league 

rest in pete: dont correct me bitch 

dj spooky jim: no im 

dj spooky jim: but like he has a bajillion friends and is super good lookin 

dj spooky jim: super hawt 

dj spooky jim: ultra fine 

dj spooky jim: sexy smexy 

patricia: We get it now. 

patricia: Continue, please. 

dj spooky jim: hes not ever gonna talk to me irl 

dj spooky jim: hes probably gonna stop texting me 

patricia: I doubt that. He seems to like you.

patricia: Why wouldn't he?

dj spooky jim: what if hes homophobic 

dj spooky jim: and im a loser 

dj spooky jim: why would he talk to me 

dj spooky jim: oh gosh 

rest in pete: chill dude 

rest in pete: me and brendon can help u out :^) 

dj spooky jim: fuck no 

dj spooky jim: anyway 

dj spooky jim: he probably wouldnt talk to me 

dj spooky jim: unless he wanted a favor to use me or sth 

dj spooky jim: maybe hw or a cookie recipe 

patricia: Joseph probably does his own homework. 

patricia: And a cookie recipe? I don't know. 

patricia: I keep telling you... 

patricia: You were childhood friends. I have no idea why he wouldn't talk to you. 

dj spooky jim: ugh 

dj spooky jim: he changed 

dj spooky jim: i changed too 

dj spooky jim: we both changed 

dj spooky jim: hes waaay above me on the social ladder now 

dj spooky jim: as if i was ever there before lol 

rest in pete: chill out josh

rest in pete: thats high school for u 

patricia: Josh, I wouldn't worry about the social ladder. It's all in your head. 

patricia: In the end, we're all just teenagers getting through high school. 

patricia: Regardless of social status, I would talk to Tyler. If he genuinely enjoyed your company then, he probably would now. 

dj spooky jim: probably?????????? 

rest in pete: yeah ur a funny guy 

dj spooky jim: true he told me im funny 

dj spooky jim: he needs to spice up his life 

dj spooky jim: see when i moved back to this town 

dj spooky jim: he was super popular 

dj spooky jim: had a ton of friends 

dj spooky jim: hanging by the beach 

dj spooky jim: drinking martinis u know 

patricia: I don't recall martinis or a beach. 

rest in pete: patrick shh 

rest in pete: ur just jealous of tyler 

patricia: I am not. 

patricia: I'm perfectly happy where I am.

dj spooky jim: ok whatever

dj spooky jim: but what i meant was 

dj spooky jim: i have no chance with his social status

patricia: Then talk to him.

patricia: We've been going in circles for minutes, and I've almost been caught twice. 

dj spooky jim: im in the bathroom ahahaha 

dj spooky jim: if u really want me to talk to him then help me out 

rest in pete: no way jose 

dj spooky jim: fine then i wont help u ask out ur #mcm

patricia: Who's this lucky guy? 

dj spooky jim: 'lucky' 

patricia: Oops. 

patricia: I gave away too much, didn't I? 

patricia: Just in one sentence. 

patricia: Oh well. 

patricia: Ok, good luck. 

_patricia_ has left the conversation.

dj spooky jim: omg pete AAHHAAHAHHAHA

rest in pete: HOLY SHI T 

dj spooky jim: does he like u back ;) 

rest in pete: wow idk 

rest in pete: i hope? 

dj spooky jim: ok cool 

dj spooky jim: pls help me with tyler tho 

rest in pete: ok fine 

rest in pete: how long has it been since u two talked 

dj spooky jim: ummmmmm 

dj spooky jim: since monday 

rest in pete: dude its friday 

rest in pete: no wonder hes staring at u 

rest in pete: u ignored him for days 

dj spooky jim: yeah that could be it

rest in pete: ok dude we can talk to him after school

rest in pete: then we can get him to bang u 

dj spooky jim: lol cool 

rest in pete: LOL WAIT DO U ACTUALLY LIKE HIM 

dj spooky jim: idk man 

dj spooky jim: ive had feelings for him for a while 

dj spooky jim: its kinda mixed but 

dj spooky jim: idk 

rest in pete: does joshie have a crush ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

dj spooky jim: idk we can find out when you HELP ME TALK TO HIM TODAY :)))))))))))) 

rest in pete: alright 

rest in pete: gettin banged 2nite 

dj spooky jim: fuck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> updated version!   
> based on true experience; this hoe keeps staring at me lmaoo


	5. The Succ™

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which josh flips out on the bus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys hope you like the chapter! it was a bit longer than usual. have a nice day wherever you are!!

today @ 7:38 am

josh: hello 

josh: it is i 

josh: the great josh 

tyler: oh hey 

tyler: what are you doing 

josh: what do u mean 

josh: oooooooooooooooh when u nod ur head yes 

josh: but u wanna say noooo 

tyler: lol you listen to justin bieber 

josh: YES I DO 

josh: an un-fucking-godly amount 

josh: honestly its getting unhealthy 

josh: i wonder if thats possible 

tyler: what's possible? 

josh: to die from listening to too much justin bieber 

josh: like my holiday music 

josh: its all justins christmas album 

tyler: wait justin has a christmas album 

josh: hell yeah he does 

josh: _one image attached!_

josh: its hella lit 

josh: like my christmas tree 

tyler: holy shit lmao 

tyler: i never knew he had a christmas album 

josh: the songs are so fuckin good 

josh: gotta love it 

josh: im lovin it 

josh: McDonalds™ 

tyler: nasty 

tyler: i prefer taco bell 

josh: TACO BEELELELELELEL 

tyler: YES 

tyler: I LOVE TACO BELL 

josh: LIVE MAS M OTHERFUCKER ,, 

tyler: i love it i even wrote a song about it 

josh: u will have to let me hear it soon ;)))) 

tyler: eh........ 

tyler: it's kind of embarassing :') 

josh: well shit 

josh: maybe some other time ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

tyler: (◔_◔) 

josh: yo what were u even gonna ask me about 

josh: is it critical 

tyler: uh not really 

tyler: i was just gonna ask why you're texting me when i'm a few rows back on the bus? 

josh: wait what 

josh: i thought u walk??? 

tyler: yeah but i woke up late so 

tyler: i'm stuck here ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

josh: oh lol 

tyler: you know you can just come over to me if you want to 

tyler: i mean we're friends so 

josh: wow did u 

josh: just call me ur friend 

josh: wow 

josh: im amazed 

josh: uhh 

josh: ummmmmmm ok 

josh: hold on brb 

  


_dj spooky jim_ to _helpmepls_ : 

dj spooky jim: AAAAAAAAAA 

patricia: Oh boy, what could be wrong now? 

peteachu: ooh i bet he dumped a bowl of flaming hot cheetos into tylers pants 

peteachu: its like the ice cream incident except with cheetos 

dj spooky jim: no you STUPID FUCK 

dj spooky jim: tyler called me his friend and im just,,,,,,,, 

dj spooky jim: AAAAAAAAAAAA 

patricia: I don't understand why this is a big deal. 

patricia: How many times have I told you in the past 24 hours? You've been friends forever. 

patricia: It's _not_ that huge. 

patricia: Have you talked to him lately? 

dj spooky jim: uh i talked to him in person after u guys told me 

dj spooky jim: but pete ditched me and i nearly shit my pants 

peteachu: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahhahahahahaha 

dj spooky jim: fuck u pete 

patricia: Thanks, Pete. 

dj spooky jim: yh so im trying to fix stuff 

dj spooky jim: i mean i totally ignored him 

dj spooky jim: i guess 

dj spooky jim: no i was just a pussy lol 

dj spooky jim: but i feel guilty 

patricia: It's okay. Teens are supposed to be awkward. 

peteachu: patrick ur a teen too 

patricia: Please don't mind that. 

dj spooky jim: ok well 

dj spooky jim: im just freaking out 

dj spooky jim: he is like the king of the school 

dj spooky jim: and i am a mere peasant 

dj spooky jim: carting around a donkey 

dj spooky jim: while he orders me to scoop up his feces 

dj spooky jim: u feel me 

peteachu: no im not touching u lol 

dj spooky jim: shut the fujk up 

patricia: It's an expression. 

peteachu: oh 

dj spooky jim: yeah i just feel weird????? 

dj spooky jim: its been forever 

patricia: Just go talk to him. 

patricia: He's probably wondering why you haven't responded yet. 

dj spooky jim: yeah i should 

dj spooky jim: ok wish me luck bye 

peteachu: bad luck lololol 

patricia: Good luck. Bye now. 

dj spooky jim: @ pete kys 

dj spooky jim: ty patrick  <3 

  


today @ 7:45 am 

josh: I AM BACK 

tyler: welcome back 

josh: sorry about that 

josh: my annoying ass friends were texting me 

tyler: ah i see 

tyler: well then 

tyler: back to the conversation!!!!! 

tyler: why can't you just sit with me? 

josh: bc i dont want to interrupt u :( 

tyler: come on we're so close, i bet nobody will mind 

tyler: i can see you from where i'm sitting 

josh: tyler 

josh: nononon 

josh: stop calling my name 

josh: oh my god 

josh: sit down 

josh: tyler joseph 

josh: in the name of the law 

josh: sit ur butt down 

josh: fffuck 

tyler: well the bus driver just yelled at me 

josh: yeah i saw 

josh: um we can sit together the next time ur on the bus ok 

josh: just dont scream at me ok????? 

tyler: yeah sounds good 

josh: and btww 

josh: we are totes friends XDXD 

tyler: blocked and reported 

josh: nNO , 

josh: but yh were friends we chill 

tyler: ok sounds great 

tyler: heck the bus is stopping 

josh: yes it is 

josh: well then 

josh: i bid you farewell 

tyler: ok bye!! 

tyler: see ya around then 

  


_dj spooky jim_ to _helpmepls_ : 

dj spooky jim: HEY GUYS GUESS WHAT 

peteachu: did u drop a bowl of hot flaming cheetos down tylers pants fr this time 

dj spooky jim: no SHUT THE FUCK UP 

patricia: What? 

patricia: A good outcome I hope. 

dj spooky jim: yes 

dj spooky jim: TYLER SAID "SEE YOU AROUND " 

dj spooky jim: U KNOW WHAT THAT MEA@NS 

peteachu: HE WANTS THE SUCC™ 

patricia: Pete... 

dj spooky jim: NO WHAT THE FUCK

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed m8s!! comments and kudos are appreciated :-)
> 
> updated version!


	6. stupid dish rag

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> brendon tries to set up josh and tyler at lunch

today @ 9:03 am

brendon: ayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy wassup 

josh: what do u need now 

josh: weed money 

josh: lunch money 

josh: condoms 

brendon: wtf no 

brendon: actually wtf yes 

josh: .........................oh 

brendon: yeah um 

brendon: anyway!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

josh: what 

brendon: what 

josh: what 

brendon: shut the fuck up 

josh: , oh 

brendon: btw how did u guess i need $$$ 

josh: i know u 

josh: ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°) 

brendon: uhhhhhh 

brendon: i would say im out of here 

brendon: but i have some important business to conduct 

brendon: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

josh: aight 

josh: wyd 

josh: and btw 

josh: STOP FUCKING TEXTING ME IN CLASS 

brendon: N O 

brendon: tbh ms asher doesnt care about me going on my phone 

brendon: she keeps taking selfies in class 

brendon: with her stupid leopard print coat 

josh: wgat 

josh: leopard print gross 

brendon: HEY i actually like the print 

brendon: but not on her 

brendon: look at this shit 

brendon: _one image attached!_

josh: ew brendon 

josh: where do u find her selfies 

brendon: um 

brendon: extensive research ? 

josh: BULLSHITBULLSHITBULLSHITBULLSHITBULLSHIT 

brendon: shhhhhhhhhgdgshj 

josh: ok 

brendon: what was i doing again 

josh: idk 

brendon: oh right 

brendon: so like 

brendon: i think 

brendon: u n tyler 

brendon: should get together ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

josh: TUIWETHKGJDSDGHJKFEGHISDNKFJDMLERJSGMNK,SJDGNKM, 

josh: WHAT THEFCU K BRENDON 

brendon: WHYAT 

brendon: WHY R U FREAKIN G OUT 

brendon: oh 

brendon: i see 

brendon: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

josh: hhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHhhh 

josh: mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm 

brendon: yo i didnt know you liked him 

brendon: well i had a suspicion 

brendon: BUT 

brendon: i didnt think it was this serius ;) 

josh: *serious 

josh: and also 

josh: ISHGKDHUWETOJSGKLMD 

josh: i have some explaining to do 

josh: when i was in middle school 

josh: i was a wee sixth grader 

josh: me n tyler were besties 

josh: we were besties forever actually until i moved away 

brendon: WAIT WHAT 

josh: YES 

josh: HE SAID BEFORE 

brendon: oh yeah i didnt know he was seriuos 

josh: *s e r i o u s 

brendon: fuck off (◔_◔) 

josh: no 

josh: ANYWAY 

josh: i developed some huge ass crush on him 

josh: and he never knew 

josh: i wanted to tell him 

josh: BUT THEN GUESS WHAT?????????????????? 

brendon: what 

josh: he told me he had a crush on jenna fucking black 

josh: dont get me wrong 

josh: jenna is hot 

josh: but i liked tyler 

josh: AND HE DIDNT LIKE ME BACK 

brendon: oooooooooooooooooooh shittttttttttttttt 

brendon: thats fuckin awful 

brendon: then what happened 

brendon: did u guys fuck 

josh: no 

josh: :( 

brendon: HAHAHSH GFHAH FH YOU WANT TO FUCK HIM 

brendon: ASHGOLKMJAAHAHAHAH 

josh: SHUT UP 

josh: i eventually moved away 

josh: heartbroken ;( 

josh: not really i just got a crush on this other guy but 

josh: whatever man 

josh: and now that tyler really _really_ acknowledged my existence its gonna be harder 

brendon: omg 

brendon: that sounds terrible 

brendon: im gonna tell everyone 

josh: FUCK NO NO NOONGONNONONO 

brendon: EVERYONE KNOWS ALREADY OYU STUPID DISH RAG 

brendon: WHENEVER HE PASSES THE TABLE YOU PRACTICALLY COME IN YOUR PANTS 

josh: i mean you have a point 

josh: BUT THIS IS EMBARASSING 

brendon: embarazado 

josh: that means pregnant in spanish 

brendon: oh 

josh: fjfdjnv 

josh: continuing my rant 

josh: i cant have a crush on a JOCK 

josh: this is NOT HAPPENING 

brendon: actually 

brendon: it is 

brendon: sorry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

josh: uuuughhhh 

josh: there's no way he'll like me back 

josh: no way in hell 

brendon: well fuck 

brendon: unless u do something about it 

brendon: invite him to our table 

josh: WHWAT 

josh: NO IM NOT GONNA DO THAT 

josh: YOURE GOING TO EMBARASS US 

josh: AND IM GONNA CHOKE ON MY LUNCH 

brendon: THATS CHARMING 

brendon: just give it a chance jesus 

brendon: if it doesnt work out then fine 

brendon: it's our senior year anyway 

brendon: get out there! have fun! before we go to college and die! 

josh: ok 

josh: f i n e 

josh: but if you do anything stupid 

josh: i'm gonna whoop your ass 

  
today @ 11:48 am 

josh: yo yo yo! 

josh: its dj josh!!!!!!! 

josh: in the house!!!! 

tyler: josh what the fuck are you doing 

josh: ok soz

josh: did i scare you a little 

tyler: um actually 

tyler: you scared me 

tyler: excessively 

josh: uhhhhh 

josh: sorry 

josh: anyway 

josh: would you mind if i asked you a question 

tyler: no, not at all 

josh: ok 

josh: HERE WE GO 

josh: alright 

josh: come sit at lunch with me 

tyler: okay, sure :-) 

josh: OH 

josh: YOU ACTUALLY SIAD YES HAHHF G , 

tyler: why wouldn't i? 

josh: uh idk i just was having doubts 

josh: well thats just SWELL 

tyler: yes it is 

tyler: who do sit with? 

josh: pete, patrick, brendon, ryan, dallon 

josh: those are the regulars 

josh: we get some visitors from the super emos sometimes 

tyler: pardon 

josh: oh the super emos r gerard and his crew 

josh: you might know them 

tyler: yeah i think so 

josh: andy and joe come by with spencer too but i think theyre too stoned to come 

josh: well then 

josh: i um 

josh: hope you have fun 

tyler: i do too 

tyler: i might not know dallon? 

tyler: i think he was the guy who fell off the stage screaming "i like dicks" during the play when he had to kiss breezy 

josh: uh...................... 

josh: thats the guy 

tyler: ok cool 

tyler: he seems nice 

josh: yeah he is 

josh: gotta love him 

josh: well 

josh: i'll see you at lunch? 

josh: i hope ur homies dont mind that ur not sitting w them 

tyler: eh 

tyler: they won't 

josh: radical 

tyler: meet you at the flagpole? 

josh: yeah sure 

josh: see u 

tyler: bye! 

josh: adios 

tyler: au revoir 

josh: goodbyezies 

tyler: farewell 

josh: goodbye gay 

tyler: what 

josh: uh its pig latin 

tyler: oh 

tyler: ok lmao :') 

tyler: anyway i'll see you 

tyler: bye for real 

tyler: realzies 

josh: hahahah yeah 

tyler: bye 

josh: bye!!!! 

  
"If that could have gotten anymore awkward—" Brendon snorted, peering over Josh's shoulder. 

"Oh my god, Brendon, how did you even get here!" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> updated version. it's been a while :(


	7. u broke him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> plans and outdated memes

today @ 4:05 pm

_beebo_ added _ryro, dad, pepe, Patrick,_ and _unicorns_ to the conversation. 

_beebo_ renamed the conversation _JOSHLER_

beebo: GUYS DID U SEE JOSH AND TYLER AT LUNCH 

beebo: IT WAS SO GAY 

beebo: HOLY SHIT 

pepe: holy shitttt ikr 

pepe: i didnt know it was that possible to be that gay 

Patrick: That's rich coming from you, Pete. 

ryro: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 

dad: shut up ryan 

ryro: shut up giraffe 

dad: fuck 

beebo: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 

pepe: fucking SNATCHED 

Patrick: Dang. 

Patrick: Where's Mikey? 

_unicorns_ is typing. 

pepe: ah there he is 

beebo: mikey whats ur input on #joshler 

_unicorns_ is typing. 

beebo: mikey 

_unicorns_ is typing. 

beebo: MIKEY 

unicorns: According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. 

pepe: MIKEY WHAT THE FUCK 

pepe: THAT MEME ISNT EVEN A MEME ANYMORE 

pepe: IM SO DISAPPOINTED 

ryro: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA 

ryro: UR AWFUL MIKEY 

dad: bitch u still use dat boi 

dad: look whos fuckin talkin 

Patrick: Mikey, as your fellow companion, I advise you to stop. 

Patrick: Now. 

unicorns: no 

unicorns: get ur proper grammar and capitalization away from me 

beebo: yes patrick 

beebo: ur ruining our // a e s t h e t i c // 

ryro: im impressed 

ryro: this is coming from a freshman 

ryro: im proud ( ⊙‿⊙) 

dad: whats that face 

ryro: kys 

dad: .......... 

beebo: YOU NEVER GAVE UR INPUT ON #JOSHLER 

beebo: WHAT IS IT 

beebo: AKSKJGNKM 

unicorns: i was busy doing other stuff but 

pepe: bitch u were watching porn on ur phone 

unicorns: WHAT 

unicorns: I WAS NOT 

ryro: EXPOSED 

ryro: MMMMMMMMMMMM 

dad: stop trying to be cool ryan 

dad: please 

ryro: never 

ryro: im just too cool for you 

ryro: ( ͡ಸ ‿ ಸ ) 

dad: thats not cool 

Patrick: ...I don't really think that's cool either. 

pepe: hes using emojis inappropriately

pepe: like a 6th grade white girl on instagram 

beebo: ur not cool mikey admit it 

unicorns: stop ganging up on me 

unicorns: im gonna tell my brother 

unicorns: hes gonna beat ur ass 

beebo: no hes not 

beebo: not if we throw apple juice at him again 

unicorns: shit u right 

dad: goteem 

unicorns: and my input on joshler? 

unicorns: GAY 

unicorns: its cute 

unicorns: i ship it ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

beebo: OHOHOHOHO 

beebo: hes fallen into the joshler hole 

beebo: hes never coming back 

unicorns: uh oh 

ryro: whats the joshler hole 

beebo: shut up 

dad: ha 

dad: the joshler hole is a black hole 

dad: where u are extremely devoted to #joshler 

dad: u will NOT give up until theyve gotten together 

pepe: or fucked 

beebo: or fucked 

beebo: JINX U OWE ME A COKE 

pepe: bitch i got 2 cents 

beebo: well shit 

Patrick: I really wonder how Pete runs out of money so fast. 

Patrick: Especially because his parents are loaded. 

pepe: food

pepe: etc 

unicorns: porn 

pepe: NO 

pepe: AFDJKGDN 

beebo: CONGRATULATIONS 

beebo: U PLAYED URSELF 

Patrick: Nice one. 

dad: HAHAHAHADFAHKGKSAHKSHFJ 

ryro: B O I 

beebo: anyway anyone who ships it say i ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

ryro: I 

unicorns: i 

dad: iiiiiiiiii 

Patrick: I. 

beebo: that's everyone 

beebo: OHOHOOOHO 

beebo: we should so have tyler at our table daily 

beebo: its gonna be lit af 

ryro: ur gonna embarass us again 

ryro: ur making a bad impression 

beebo: what did i do 

Patrick: What did you do? 

Patrick: WHAT DID YOU DO? 

pepe: PATRICK IS USING CAPS U KNOW HES SERIUS 

Patrick: *serious 

pepe: and were back 

dad: u know what u did 

ryro: u know what u did 

unicorns: u know what u did 

dad: stop mocking me 

unicorns: never 

dad: die 

beebo: no what did i do 

beebo: i was trying to make a good impression i swear 

dad: does deepthroating a banana seem like a good impression to u 

dad: bc it SURE DOESNT TO ME 

beebo: I WAS JUST TRYING TO IMPRESS HIM 

beebo: DONT YOU THINK ITS IMPRESSIVE 

pepe: NO BRENDON 

pepe: ITS NOT 

ryro: its hot lol 

beebo: ffcujk 

beebo: hnsvk 

beebo: wt i j214 

dad: u broke him ryan 

ryro: oops 

pepe: oh well 

pepe: we didnt want him here anyway 

beebo: 7 

pepe: ugh 

Patrick: Oh my goodness. 

unicorns: i took a shit and this happened 

unicorns: nice 

dad: tmi 

ryro: tmi = tell more info 

unicorns: well it was kind of thicc but still watery 

ryro: EW MIKEY I WAS JUST KIDDING 

unicorns: oh 

pepe: so guys dont u think we should try to make #joshler real 

pepe: weve fallen deep into the hole of despair that is joshler 

dad: hmm idk 

dad: id love to see it happen eh 

ryro: holy shit dallon is canadian 

dad: no im fucking not 

dad: shut up 

ryro: no way 

ryro: well i think itd be cool to see them get 3gether 

pepe: it would be lit lmao 

Patrick: Why not? 

Patrick: What can go wrong? 

dad: knowing us 

dad: a lot of stuff 

pepe: u right 

pepe: but we can make it work 

ryro: no we cant 

dad: shut up 

dad: lets try 

dad: its the last yr of high school anyway 

dad: were never gonna see each other again 

dad: i think 

dad: who cares 

Patrick: Well, that's true. 

unicorns: am i involved 

ryro: yes 

ryro: yes u r 

unicorns: ok 

unicorns: im gonna do something stupid 

ryro: yes 

ryro: yes u r 

unicorns: are you ok 

ryro: yes 

ryro: yes u r 

unicorns: i think thats a no 

pepe: hes broken too 

pepe: brendon u still there 

beebo: fsjesg 39 

beebo: m ilk4 

ryro: yes 

ryro: yes u r 

Patrick: What. 

dad: what happened to him 

unicorns: idk 

pepe: brendons still here 

pepe: ok guys 

pepe: we should probably meet in our spot and discuss our plan for #joshler 

dad: ok sure 

dad: we cant let them see tho 

dad: obviously 

ryro: yes 

unicorns: OK STOP 

ryro: yes 

dad: hhhhhhhhhhhh 

pepe: ignore ryan 

pepe: say i if u know we meet tomorrow 

pepe: maybe at 7:40 before school 

dad: NONE OF US GET UP THAT EARLY 

pepe: EXACTLY 

pepe: JOSH CANT SEE US 

dad: aight 

dad: i 

ryro: yes 

ryro: yes u r 

ryro: i 

unicorns: i 

unicorns: p.s. shut up ryan

Patrick: I. 

Patrick: This is a bad idea. 

Patrick: Let's do it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> updated version. enjoy!


	8. cupcakke

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Admit it, Tyler has a nice ass."
> 
>  
> 
> "Okay, he does."

today @ 7:30 am

_Patrick_ to _JOSHLER_

Patrick: Hey guys, are we still meeting up today? 

Patrick: I'm at school right now. 

Patrick: I really hope you guys are at least awake. 

  
today @ 7:35 am 

Patrick: Guys? 

  
today @ 7:36 am 

Patrick: Ugh. 

  
today @ 7:38 am 

Patrick: I'm going to leave our spot. 

_unicorns_ is typing... 

Patrick: Mikey? 

unicorns: yah sorry 

unicorns: i have my notifications off 

unicorns: never have ur gc notifs on near the principal 

unicorns: i advise u 

unicorns: especially when ur talking about milk 

Patrick: I don't want to know what happened. 

unicorns: and i dont want to be reminded 

Patrick: Anyway, where's everyone? 

unicorns: im outside petes house 

unicorns: brendon slept over at ryans with dallon and theyre currently passed out on the lawn 

Patrick: What. 

unicorns: uh yeah 

unicorns: we know that josh doesnst take the bus today so hopefully we wont see him 

Patrick: Are you guys leaving soon? 

Patrick: Pete is pretty close to our school. 

unicorns: yeah as soon as pete comes out of the bathroom 

unicorns: brb throwing dallons bike at his window 

dad: WHAT 

unicorns: oh ur here now 

dad: YES 

dad: GET URFILTHY HANDS OFF MY BIKE 

dad: FUCK 

unicorns: ugh fine 

unicorns: just get pete out of there 

dad: fine

dad: fuck ryans foot is in my mouth 

dad: i hope he slips in the mud Patrick: Typical... 

ryro: i hope u find a penis in ur drink

Patrick: Oh. 

dad: fuck off ryan 

dad: go back to sleep 

ryro: no 

unicorns: is pete out yet 

unicorns: were late 

dad: yes 

dad: he was busy scrutinizing the noodle stuck to his shirt 

dad: i pushed him down the stairs 

Patrick: What? Why?! 

dad: um 

dad: bc hes a piece of shit 

Patrick: He is not. Leave him alone. 

dad: ...........aight 

ryro: someones protective ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

Patrick: No, it's just mean. 

dad: if it was anyone else u would have pushed them down the stairs urself 

unicorns: ooh ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

ryro: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

dad: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

Patrick: ... 

pepe: ok im here 

pepe: after recovering from a fall down the stairs 

pepe: DALLON 

unicorns: #exposed 

unicorns: wake brendon up 

dad: i got my water bottle 

ryro: FINISH HIM 

pepe: GUYS FUCKDGOK 

pepe: CAN WE GO NOW 

pepe: THIS WHOLE THING IS GONNA BE FUCKED UP 

dad: do it tomorrow then 

Patrick: But isn't this the only day Josh doesn't take the bus? We're gonna have to get up even earlier if we don't want to be seen tomorrow. 

unicorns: ...das tru 

pepe: exactly 

pepe: so wake brendon up 

pepe: whatever 

dad: im on it 

ryro: SHFKHHAHAHAHAHAHH 

ryro: GET HIM 

ryro: HES SCREAMING HHAAH HH 

beebo: SHFSN WEWET9IDS9 sdijn;SB];24 

dad: U RECORDING 

Patrick: Please send it. 

unicorns: HES RECORDING 

unicorns: FHAHHHAH IS HE CRYING 

dad: I THINK BOTH OF THEM ARE 

beebo: JSDFKHFK ANVBjvklmsd:;241u HOSKM 

beebo: ST PO 52 IT DA LN 

ryro: _one file attatched!_

unicorns: HJJKSFSJKFHFL HAAH 

Patrick: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE 

ryro: we can blackmail him with this 

dad: we got a good video of him crying now 

dad: this is even better than new years 

pepe: NOTHING IS BETTER THAN NEW YEARS 

Patrick: I don't remember anything related to New Years... 

pepe: i do 

dad: remember when he tried to swim in a bowl of jello 

Patrick: I'm glad I don't remember anything related to New Year's. 

beebo: i m up 

ryro: haha suck it 

beebo: ok 

ryro: oh 

dad: GAY 

pepe: GUYS CAN WE LEAVE NOW 

pepe: JOSHLER IS ALREADY AT SCHOOL PROBABLY 

unicorns: FUCK THIS IS SUDDEN BUT SOMETHING BLEW UP IN MY HOUSE GOTTA GO BYE

ryro: jeez ok 

dad: autobots roll out 

  


today @ 8:02 am 

_614-508-2121_ to contact _tyler_

josh: hey dude 

tyler: josh ur..... right next to me 

josh: i know but 

josh: i think we r being watched 

tyler: uh 

tyler: what are you doing tyler: this is unnecessary?? 

josh: no like 

josh: the group i sit with at lunch have me in a group chat 

josh: n it keeps going off 

josh: look 

_one file attached_

tyler: oh 

tyler: ok then 

josh: wait can you see them 

tyler: uhh 

tyler: maybe 

tyler: i think i saw pete 

josh: oh shit i see him 

  


"Pete, what are you _doing_?" 

"Shut up, Fedora." 

Pete shoved Patrick to the side as he looked cautiously around the corner. He could see Tyler and Josh sitting close together, shoulders brushing, the taller boy speaking animatedly about something and moving his hands excitedly. His friend was grinning, cheeks pink and looking Tyler with stars in his eyes. Well, at least that's what Pete thought. 

"Wow, that's so gay," Brendon giggled, eyes narrowed. 

"That's rich coming from you," Patrick said, rifling through his backpack and pulling out a container full of what Pete assumed was food. He smirked in Brendon's direction as the taller one mock-glared at him and scooped up a leaf from the ground, throwing it in Patrick's direction. It was swept away by the wind and skitters to a stop meters away. 

"Wow, nice one," said Dallon with fake interest, sitting against a shrub. "What a savage." 

Pete scoffed and jabs a finger at Dallon. " _You_ , sir," he announced, "Are supposed to be, er, observing our friends with those binoculars that you insisted on bringing." 

He shrugs, plucking a leaf from the bush. "Eh, I thought there would be more gay action. They're just talking." 

"What the fuck do you expect, man?" Brendon asked dryly. "Do you expect them to start fucking on the grass? I don't think so." 

Ryan laughed. "Whatever, dude. We all want to see it. Admit it." 

Brendon just rolled his eyes. 

Pete's phone vibrated, Dallon cackling and shoving his phone back into his back pocket. Everyone else pulled their devices out and viewed the message. "'Get that thicc ass Josh?" he quoted. "Alright."

"Admit it, Tyler has a nice ass." 

"Okay, he does." 

Suddenly, from what the group could see, Josh looked down in horror at his own phone. He leaned over and whispered something to Tyler, the latter looking into Josh's hands. His face twisted into a mildly disturbed expression. 

"Hey, what are they looking at?" 

Wait... they couldn't have found out, right? 

Patrick shrugged, mouth full of food. "I dunno, I jus' see them frantically texting, that's all."

Pete gulped and turned around, facing his friends. "Guys, what chat were you sending all of those messages to?"

Brendon tore his eyes away from Ryan, who was absently trying to untie his scarf out of the giant knot he formed (seriously, what was he doing?) and faced Pete. "Uh... let me check. It's the 'Gay Crew' chat— oh, wait." 

Pete's stomach dropped into his ass at the realization. _Oh, god._

"WHAT? You're kidding, right?" Pete screamed. A group of kids walking past turned towards him, one jumping and shaking their head. 

"Um, I wish I was." Brendon held up his phone to show a recent message from _Josh_ —how could they have been so stupid?—asking if they realized he was present in the chat. 

Well, they did now. 

Dallon turned around from his spot near a bush, binoculars around his neck and sighed. "Nice going, guys. Now they're looking in our direction, most likely."

They all looked at each other wide eyed, except for Patrick, eating a cupcake, and bolted to the corner where Josh and Tyler were visible. Dallon was right— they _were_ looking in their direction. Tyler looked at them, spooked, and turned to Josh. He spoke to Josh quietly, eyes darting towards them a few times. Even better, while Pete was trying to see over the giraffe that was Dallon, he tripped and fell on his back, yelling.

"For the love of god!" 

"Jeez, Pete! Sorry!" Dallon huffed.

"Idiot." snorted Patrick, licking the icing off a cupcake wrapper. 

Pete groaned. They were definitely being looked at now, and not by the people they wanted to be looked at— Josh and Tyler. "Fuck." 

Why were they so dumb? Sending stupid pictures and messages to the chat that _Josh was fucking present in_ and telling him to "get that thicc ass" was bad enough, but even worse they were caught spying on both of them. And they caught the attention of practically everyone in the school. Pete was ready to impale someone with Ryan's knitting needles.

Josh stood up, walking towards the group. He was pretty pissed by the looks of it. "Shit, guys. He's coming!"

The entire group began to quickly walk away from the angry red-haired guy behind them, Ryan tying a lasso with his scarf ("What the fuck are you doing?" "Self defense!") and moving to the front of the group. Patrick leisurely moved behind them and took another cupcake from his backpack. Pete being stupid like he normally was, he ran past Ryan and straight into Matty, the curly-haired exchange student from England, knocking him and his thermos over. The lid spilled open, and of course, Pete slipped on fucking tea, splashing it on the tallest kid's (George? He's not sure, they're all taller than him) expensive-looking jacket and fell over. Again. 

What a great plan this was.


	9. broken blender

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He isn't sure what on God's green earth his friends were trying to do.

Josh didn't get angry that much. That was okay because getting angry was something that includes repressed yelling, damaged feelings, and a type of emotional reaction that you typically don't want to go through. It's not something he enjoys, so he tries not to let his feelings get the best of him and leave people alone. You could say he's a generally nice person.

This time, though, is an exception. 

He isn't sure what on God's green earth his friends were trying to do. Typically he would ignore them, like every other time they follow him around for the strangest reasons. The friend group Josh is in isn't the worst circle you could be in, despite the complaints and teasing insults he throws at his " _squad,_ " as Pete calls it, but the things that they do can be the slightest bit annoying. Josh could assume that they were being their exasperating selves again, but judging by the messages sent to the group chat that included him—honestly, how stupid would they have to be?—they were trying to spy on him and Tyler. 

He says trying because it was like playing hide and seek with an elephant standing behind a thin tree. Completely obvious.

It felt like an invasion of privacy somehow. He was genuinely enjoying his time with Tyler, who he had a huge crush on all throughout middle school and spent his freaking childhood with. Tyler, who he hadn't spoken to since the summer of ninth grade when he moved to California. Then his phone starts blowing up out of nowhere and to his kind-of surprise he finds out his friends are watching him from a small distance. Real stealthy, huh? 

The anger came out of nowhere. He can't exactly explain why. Josh just wanted to hang out with a guy without his friends constantly ridiculing him or teasing him, but this time he's being watched secretly and having obscene comments made about him, in front of his face—or phone. Now he feels guilty about it, which is almost worse than chasing his cupcake-eating, scarf-clad friends in front of the school's most popular basketball player. _Almost._

  


+

  


"Jesus H. _Christ_ , you all are so stupid!" Pete hisses to his friends. They're all running around the track during gym, Ryan's scarf lasso tied around Pete's ankle and cupcake frosting on Patrick's face. Brendon and Dallon are snickering at Mikey, who is hardly running (more like trudging while imitating a wild boar choking) and kicking rocks in his direction. 

"Don't say the Lord's name in vain," Patrick mumbles. 

"Shut up. Again, you all are stupid." 

Mikey snorts/retches. "We're stupid? You came up with the idea—" he huffs and dodges an incoming pebble. "—I'm lucky Gerard needed me back at home. Apparently, he was trying to make a smoothie and the blender blew up." 

"How the hell did that happen?" Dallon snickers.

"Beats me." 

"Nobody cares about your stupid blender! We have to do something about this!" Pete huffs, swerving around a water fountain. "Listen, I came up with the idea. You're right, I guess. But it wasn't me who texted inappropriate messages about Josh fucking his friend while _he was in the chat!_ "

"You're kidding." 

"Nope," Brendon says. He tosses a twig at Mikey's head. 

"Ow! What the fuck?" 

Dallon and Brendon cackle, stepping on the fallen stick and moving ahead.

"Brendon, fucking stop it—never mind. Okay, like... I feel bad. He looked pretty mad, 'cause you know, we were saying vulgar stuff about him. And I would be mad too if someone did that to me." 

Patrick shrugs and wipes cupcake frosting off his face. "Yeah, I would too. That's the problem. I agreed to do this because I thought it would just be sitting near them and talking to each other about how cute they were. Not a full-blown mission with binoculars and getting chased by the person who wasn't supposed to know we were watching them." 

"Shit. You're right." 

"Well, I mean," Mikey adds, "You said before he's pretty chill about this stuff most of the time, right? That's kinda weird that he's suddenly acting up. Unless he's being manipulated by aliens or something, he probably wouldn't do this. You probably interrupted something special."

"Something special?" Dallon asks loudly. "Not special. I think he still has a crush on Tyler, like he did in, like, sixth grade." 

Pete kicks him in the shin and shushes him as Josh darts past as if he forgot they existed. "Dude. He's _right there._ " 

"My bad." 

"Ugh. Anyway, yeah, you could be right. We can't ask him or else that'd be even more of a dick move than what we already did." 

Brendon coughs. "Yeah, about that. He still does. Like, Josh said he's already over him but then the other day I texted him about they should get together—" 

"Brendon!" Pete scolds, swatting him on the back. 

"Okay! Sorry! I thought it could happen, right? But then he goes on about how he had a huge crush on him, like Dallon said, in sixth grade. Apparently, Tyler liked Jenna the cheerleader. Blonde, peppy? Yeah. He said he got another crush on someone. Bullshit. And now he admits he likes him again, but he doesn't _want_ to because he knows—or thinks—Tyler is straight as a board, popular, and a fucking jock." 

Patrick whistles. "Wow. That's a lot."

"Yeah, I know!" Brendon agrees, frowning. "It does make sense he would get upset because he really likes Tyler. It's not really your fault, man." 

Pete sighs and slows down, looking ahead where Josh is running next to a brown-haired guy. "I should've known it would bother him though. I insisted on it because I was so intent on them hooking up or whatever. I just—" 

He's interrupted by the gym teacher blowing aggressively into her whistle. As the rest of the class jogs towards the locker room, they all linger near the bleachers watching Josh, who would normally run with them today but decided they were too infuriating for his own good. Josh looks at them for a split second then turns his attention back to George, one of the exchange students they ran over earlier that day, and continues walking away. 

Pete would have laughed over a situation like this if it came to one of his other friends, but this time he actually takes it seriously. Josh had never been like this when they would tease him before. It was more of a "laugh it off because it was a silly joke" thing, but this time it was an "I'm not laughing this off because you were making lewd comments about me and spying on me" thing. And yeah, Pete feels like shit for not thinking anything through. He feels like shit because he did something that was rude and made one of his best friends uncomfortable. He feels like shit because he doesn't know how to apologize.

Now he's just standing stupidly on the football field, profusely sweating and deeply regretting his decision he's not exactly sure how to fix.

"Pete, let's go." Patrick pokes him in the back with the stick previously launched at Mikey's skull. "You don't want to be late to Mr. Hoppus' class. He's gonna kick your ass."

Pete's stare at the field's exit is broken as he swerves his head in Patrick's direction. "Uh, yeah. Sorry." The rest of the group is already halfway to the locker rooms, hooting and shoving each other around. They're the last ones off the grass. He expects the bell to ring soon. 

"Hey, you okay?" 

"Yeah. Just thinking." 

"Okay, cool." 

"Cool."

  


+

  


  
_@spookyjim_ to _me, @pwheezy_ , 4:39 PM

uh, hey

hey man

listen, im sorry about today

can we talk about it soon? not over text 

sure

are you mad?

yeah i am

it's okay, id like to talk about it

yeah. sorry about that

yeah

listen, im really sorry. i shouldve thought about it before i did something that would make u upset 

its ok. 

do u forgive me yet? 

well have to see

yeah, id expect that 

just ignore me man. 

i gotta talk to u face to face first 

yeah 

ill see you tmw in english?

yeah

thanks for answering

anytime

bye

bye

 _spooky jim_ has gone offline.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey everyone, sorry for the long absence. i've been updating the chapters but i really don't like them. i'm gonna write this mostly in prose. it's kind of weird, but i just stopped liking group chat fics. i hope this is better— another note that the next few chapters won't correspond to this because i slowed things down a bit.  
> thank u for reading :-) please make sure to leave cmnts/kudos to let me know what u think!


	10. red bull and other stuff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It seems like overthinking is in his job description.

If Josh were to give a word of advice right now, he would say never to drink five cans of Red Bull late at night. _Never._

It's currently one o' clock in the morning, about two or three hours after he had chugged down almost an entire pack of Red Bull and he can't sleep. It was on impulse—he was too busy rocking in the corner thinking about his problems while blasting Blink-182 in his headphones and he needed something to drink. Maybe guzzling 1,845 grams (yes, he did the math) of caffeine on a school night wasn't a good idea. Josh never has or had any good ideas anyway, so it's fine. 

He would have been up until dawn despite the half gallon of Red Bull sloshing around in his stomach. The "incident" from the previous day had his mind racing at miles per minute, jumping to conclusions and making assumptions at every thought. It's the dumbest thing to get in a fight over, and he knows he really shouldn't overthink it, but it's what he does.

 _Don't overthink it,_ Josh likes to remind himself.

Unfortunately, his efforts to calm himself failed and he continued to sulk in a caffeine-induced state.

"Fuck," he mumbles to his Winnie the Pooh stuffed animal clutched in his arms. 

He can't help but start wondering if his friends were going to disown him as their number one buddy. Josh and the group had a healthy friendship, other than the pointless bickering that happened way too often; it's not like he has anyone else to turn to. They were the people who stuck with him since freshman year when he had nobody to turn to, they would buy him soggy chicken nuggets from the cafeteria when he didn't have a lunch, they risked getting their asses beat by dumping a Gatorade bottle on Gerard the time Josh accidentally kicked him in the crotch during soccer. To make a long story short, they're all Josh has. He can't just throw all of that away because they screwed up and embarrassed him in front of a hot guy. 

If he were to be honest, Josh and Tyler's current friendship has almost no foundation and he's not sure why Tyler wants to hang out with him. Yeah, Josh sure does, but assuming that Tyler has heaps of friends plus the entire school at his feet (being the star basketball player he is), it's just not adding up. Things were much simpler when they were in elementary and middle school. High school is slightly more complicated.

So what's the point of trying if it's going to flop anyway?

The guilt has been gnawing at his stomach for a while now. He wants to fix the dumb mistake he made earlier, but he's not exactly sure how to. And thanks to all of the sugar and caffeine Josh ingested, he's going to be up all night.

Since everyone except for _maybe_ one person is mad at him, there's only the one person he can ask. 

  
_@spookyjim_ to user _@messageman_ , 1:34 A.M. via Kik 

**spooky jim christmas**  
howdy

**tyjo**  
josh? it's 1 am. what are you doing up so late? 

**spooky jim christmas**  
tyler? it's 1 am. what are _you_ doing up so late?

**tyjo**  
damn it 

**spooky jim christmas**  
ooh, tyler's swearing? that's a first. 

**tyjo**  
actually, it's not.  
i just try not to cause my mom will get mad 

**spooky jim christmas**  
that's cute  
i mean um  
lol 

**tyjo**  
haha, right... 

**spooky jim christmas**  
left 

**tyjo**  
you're hilarious.  
and sorry, i meant thanks.  
i'm not sure how to take a compliment as you may know 

**spooky jim christmas**  
oh yeah i do know  
i remember one time in sixth grade i said you had nice shoes and you said  
'congratulations' 

**tyjo**  
josh  
don't bring that up  
it was pretty embarassing  
dark times for me 

**spooky jim christmas**  
hey don't say that  
it was funny  
and adorable  
hahahaah what 

**tyjo**  
you seem flustered, josh 

**spooky jim christmas**  
what no................. 

**tyjo**  
alright then  
anyway, what did you need?  
it must be pretty important if you have to be up this late  
or early 

**spooky jim christmas**  
i mean yeah kind of  
remember what happened yesterday  
when my friends were being weird  
and were watching us  
or something 

**tyjo**  
yes i do  
quite clearly... 

**spooky jim christmas**  
uhh yeah sorry about thta  
on their behalf  
they can get a little extreme  
dont worry theyre just joking around  
i hope 

**tyjo**  
yeah i hope  
don't worry about it.  
it's not a big deal and almost no one saw because it was kind of early 

**spooky jim christmas**  
oh ok thank god  
i was scared u were gonna kill me  
please dont  
george and matty are already kind of pissed at me  
but its not even my fault  
like i said it wasnt me that spilled matty's thermos of tea all over georges mustard jacket ok  
jeez 

**tyjo**  
oh my  
that's not good  
sorry i didn't stop you or anything  
also, i won't kill you.

**spooky jim christmas**  
cool  
and dont apologize its my fault  
about that  
i got really mad at my friends  
when i shouldnt have  
and i think i hurt their feelings  
pete apologized  
kind of  
but im getting worried about it  


**tyjo**  
don't be.  
aren't they easily forgiving? 

**spooky jim christmas**  
yeah  
but im normally not the one getting mad  
idk its just this time bc i feel like they were invading my privacy or whatever  
i never get bothered its so weird  
and now i think theyre going to disown me  
i dont know what to do 

**tyjo**  
is that why you texted me? 

**spooky jim christmas**  
pretty much 

**tyjo**  
ok  
well i suggest apologizing first  
that always helps 

**spooky jim christmas**  
wow smartass  
see i just dont know how to approach them  
its kind of shitty to ignroe them and chase them and then just say "sorry" and walk away 

**tyjo**  
yeah, i agree.  
look, it's not gonna be easy.  
if you need any help, you should come over  
and we can discuss it there 

**spooky jim christmas**  
like  
now 

**tyjo**  
yes 

**spooky jim christmas**  
uh  
ok  
same address right 

**tyjo**  
you know it 

**spooky jim christmas**  
are you sure your parents won't mind  
or ur siblings

**tyjo**  
they're out of town right now.  
and my brother sleeps like a rock.  
i can put him on the couch and lie that he sleepwalked or something 

**spooky jim christmas**  
wow ok  
ill be over soon 

**tyjo**  
cool.  
see ya in a few. 

**spooky jim christmas**  
aight byee 

  
As Josh slides his phone in his back pocket and grabs a hoodie from the floor, he reminds himself again, _don't overthink it. Do not remind yourself of the possible outcomes that will humiliate you for your entire life, and do_ not _think about getting into Tyler's pants._

He sighs, attempting to slide the window open without any screeching and quietly exit his room (he bangs his head on the way out), and repeats again and again in his head not to worry about it.

It's not any use though. It seems like overthinking is in his job description.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey you sexy rabbits, have a nice easter sunday if you celebrate it, and if not have a great day.  
> sorry if this was rushed. i actually typed this in the middle of coding group, so this may be shoddily written. again, i apologize for that. hopefully, the next chapter will be up in the near future.  
> comments and kudos are appreciated!


End file.
